- D
A R K -
For
years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted
light. However, recent information has proved otherwise.
Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus we
call these bulbs, dark suckers. The dark sucker theory
proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier
than that of light, and that dark is faster than light.
The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric
bulbs suck dark. Take, for example, the dark suckers in
the room where you are. There is much less dark right
next to them than there is elsewhere- The larger the
dark sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark
suckers in a parking lot have a much greater capacity
than the ones in this room. As with all things, dark
suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark,
they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black
spot on a full dark sucker. A candle is a primitive dark
sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You will notice
that after the first use, the wick turns black,
representing all of the dark that has been sucked into
it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an
operating candle, the tip will turn black because it got
in the way of the dark flowing into the candle.
Unfortunately, these primitive dark suckers have a very
limited range. There are also portable dark suckers. The
bulbs in these can't handle all of the dark by
themselves and must be aided by a dark storage unit.
When the dark storage unit is full, it must be emptied
or replaced before the portable dark sucker can operate
again.
Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker,
friction from this mass generates heat. Thus, it is not
wise to touch an operating dark sucker. Candles present
a special problem since the dark must travel into a
solid wick instead of through clear glass. This
generates a great amount of heat; therefore, it can be
very dangerous to touch an operating candle. Dark is
also heavier than light. If you swim just below the
surface of a lake, you see a lot of light. If you slowly
swim deeper and deeper, you notice it getting slowly
darker and darker. When you reach a depth of
approximately fifty feet, you are in total darkness.
This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of
the lake, and the lighter light floats to the top. The
immense power of dark can be utilized to man's
advantage. We can collect the dark that has settled to
the bottom of lakes and push it through turbines,
generating electricity and helping push the dark to the
ocean where it may be safely stored. Prior to turbines,
it was much more difficult to get the dark from the
rivers and lakes to the ocean. The Indians recognized
this problem and tried to solve it. When on a river in a
canoe traveling in the same direction as the flow of
dark, they paddled slowly, so as not to stop the flow of
dark; but, when they traveled against the flow of dark,
they paddled quickly so as to help push the dark along
its way.
Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than
light. If you were to stand in an illuminated room in
front of a closed, dark closet and then slowly open the
closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the
closet; but, since dark is so fast, you would not be
able to see the dark leave the closet.
Conclusion: I would like to say that dark suckers
make all of our lives much easier. So, the next time you
look at an electric bulb, remember that it is, indeed, a
dark sucker.
Rewritten and
Presented by R G Box
